THE CLINTON JUGGER-NOT:
YOU READ IT HERE FIRST.

Fourteen months ago, on March 25, 2007, under the title “The Hillary Delusion” Avenging Angels published a 20-count indictment of the “inevitable” candidacy of Hillary Clinton. It is still posted on our blog.

A year later? Not all of our criticisms are still “spot on,” as the Brits say. Specifically, Hillary Clinton’s speaking skills have improved modestly. Also, “The Coldness Thing” has faded away; the panic of losing aroused in Hillary Clinton some genuine emotion.

But overall our judgment stands. Hillary Clinton was never much more than a default candidate for President. She was a known commodity. She was safe. “Alright,” Democrats said, “we’ve got a fallback—now let’s see if we can do better.” And we found that we could indeed do better. To our credit we made a daring and exotic choice, selecting a decent, honest, sensitive, original, charismatic, intelligent and even prematurely wise man to be President, for the most challenging era of our lifetime.

DOES SHE THINK SHE HIT A TRIPLE?

We rejected Hillary Clinton because, on close examination, she turned out to be none of the things she pretends to be.

Hillary Clinton is not a pioneering “woman candidate” in the sense that Bella Abzug or Margaret Thatcher were pioneering woman candidates. She is a sub-genre, the “wife candidate.”

The wife candidate sometimes replaces a husband who has passed away in mid-term. More often she is a ploy to get around a term limit statute. Cristina Fernandez, president of Argentina and wife of the previous president, is one example. Lurleen Wallace, governor of Alabama and wife of the previous governor, was another. There have been others.

As a wife candidate, Hillary Clinton was always a compromised vessel for carrying the dreams of people who want to see women achieve power. The great Ann Richards, a real woman candidate, said of the first George Bush, “Poor George—he was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple.” It may not be fair to say Hillary Clinton was born on third base but she certainly didn’t hit a triple. She was inserted at third base as a pinch runner.

HARDSCRABBLE HILL

Is Hillary Clinton a working class hero? Let’s review her living arrangements:

For twelve years, Hillary Clinton lived in the Governor’s Mansion in Little Rock. This was a nice life, but not nearly as nice as what came next. From 1993 to 2001 Hillary Clinton lived the most opulent lifestyle known to western man; White House occupants have a staff in the hundreds and a household budget in the tens of millions of dollars. Then, in 2001, Hillary downsized to a Chappaqua mansion while she and Bill stashed away a cool $100 million. To instill their working-class values in their daughter, the Clintons got her a job—at a Wall Street hedge fund.

After a midnight Clinton rally in Pennsylvania, a weary supporter observed “Now I’m going home to do laundry. She’s not going home to do laundry.” No, she’s not. Hill doesn’t know laundry.

OUR LADY OF THE COJONES

Did the years in Arkansas give Hillary Clinton an appreciation of the values of unreconstructed white males? After listening to Pennsylvania-primary-era Hillary you would think that chugging boilermakers, squeezing off rounds behind the barn, waving the flag, swearing to obliterate your enemies and bragging on your cojones represented the flower of American manhood. As this is posted, expect Hillary to be riding a mule train deep into the hollows of Kentucky and West Virginia, courting the Hillbilly vote, the Hee Haw vote, the Hatfield and McCoy vote and pronouncing them all the salt of the earth.

But it’s all bullshit. For vacations Hillary goes to Martha’s Vineyard. There’s no trailer trash there.

HILL BALBOA

“Hillary the fighter” is the biggest hoax of them all. What did the Clintons ever fight for except themselves? We are told Hillary was knocked down and got back up? When was that? We are told Hillary has scars? Where is that? The scars are self-inflicted, or else inflicted by her husband.

BILL’S EGO, HIS ID, HIS STUP-ID EXPOSED

We predicted that Bill Clinton’s liabilities would exceed his assets, but Hillary’s Not-Quite-So-Beloved husband and his Not-Quite-So-Sterling record proved an even larger liability than we thought. Bill’s ego, his id, his stup-id were on daily display, to the point where only one question remains: What did we ever see in this guy?

Likewise the entire Clinton diaspora suffered a severe diminution of respect. Mark Penn is now generally reviled. What is less remarked is that Paul Begala, Terry McAuliffe, James Carville, George Stephanopoulos and of course the loathsome Dick Morris have also worn out their welcomes.

In October 2007 Peace Action held its fiftieth anniversary dinner party. The party honored five women who have advanced the cause of peace. We ran this advertisement in the dinner program. It angered some guests. But how could any serious person—especially any woman—tolerate the virtual warmongering of Hillary Clinton?